This post has been a long time coming – I just needed a little time to figure out exactly what to write. And here goes:
After four years in a relationship, I am now single.
The full truth behind the recent move to Dupont Circle is that I moved out of the apartment that I’ve shared with Wil for the last two years of my life, and into a studio by myself.
While I feel completely comfortable sharing my own perspective of the relationship and the breakup here on my blog, I don’t think it’s fair for me to go into too much detail about it for Wil’s sake.
What I will say is that its been a long time coming. I have changed SO MUCH over the last four years, and it caused my relationship with Wil to become quite strained. We were working completely different schedules, pursuing different hobbies and interests, and caring about different things. It came to a head mid July after my birthday trip to the Shenandoah Valley, and we continued to live together while I looked for a new place. We are currently on as good of terms as could be expected, which I am definitely grateful for.
While breakups and change can be extremely difficult and challenging, I truly believe this it is the right thing for me right now.
That said, you’ve probably noticed the content of my blog has remained pretty upbeat over the last several months even though things haven’t been that great on the home front – and that’s just it, things in my life are going really well right now.
I feel like I’m truly getting the hang of healthy living.
My day job is going extremely well and I even just got a promotion!
I am going to Chicago for leader training for Weight Watchers in October.
I am pouring myself into this blog and good things are coming from it, including two full page spreads (!!) coming out in two different magazines this month and next.
I am truthfully in a really great place right now, and Wil and I just found ourselves on completely separate pages, so it was time to move forward, in separate directions.
I’m living by myself for the first time since college, and I’m not sure that even counts because I lived in an apartment building where tons of other college kids lived, one of which was my ex boyfriend, so I was never really alone. I’m actually really enjoying living alone – its fun to be on my own schedule, go to bed when I want to, decorate how I want to, and just do whatever I want. The other night I was so exhausted from moving that I fell asleep on my couch reading at 9pm and didn’t wake up until 8am the next day! It was pretty amazing.
And you know? Not that much feels different. Wil worked so late most days that I spent my evenings alone or with friends anyways, and mostly cooked for myself as it was. I woke up before him to go running or workout in the mornings, and if anything I just go to bed a little bit earlier since no one is coming home late to distract me! The hardest part is Sundays, because that was “our day” – the one day a week where we actually got to spend time together.
As you probably know, September is an EXTREMELY busy month for me. I am out of town for 8 days, back for one day, and then back out of town for another 4 days, so time is just going to fly by for me. I think keeping busy is the best thing for me right now because it keeps me distracted and focused on the good things going on in my life.
With all this said, one thing I am especially proud of is that I’ve been able to stick to my healthy habits rather than eating my feelings, which would have been very easy for me to do in the past. I feel like I am on a good path right now and am honestly excited to see where it leads. =)
73 Comments on Single.
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[…] finance last May, I had one major unexpected expense come up – moving into my own apartment since my (ex)boyfriend and I broke up after four years together. I had to pay a security deposit on the new apartment (and didn’t have one from my old […]
Jennifer
September 9, 2011 at 9:06 am (9 years ago)I always admire your positive outlook, Beth! It sounds like good things are continuing to come your way, which I do not doubt is in part a result of this attitude (and obv a lot of hard work!).
Congrats on your promotion at work and your upcoming work in magazines!
I hope you have a great weekend! I’m going camping and it’s my first time as a vegetarian. I think I have all my food figured out. 🙂
Danielle J
September 9, 2011 at 9:07 am (9 years ago)Such a positive approach.. We should all lead from your example. Hang in there 🙂
Amy B @ Second City Randomness
September 9, 2011 at 9:18 am (9 years ago)Ok… so I never really put those pieces together that you were moving into your own place because of a break up. I’m sorry Beth. But you will be great. You’re such an upbeat and independent girl- you’re totally going to thrive living independently in the city! Weeeee! Happy Friday!
BeBe
September 9, 2011 at 9:18 am (9 years ago)Beth, I am in awe of your maturity and outlook. While most (myself included) would have seen the negative to be more apparent then the positive, you are looking at this from the big picture stand point.
Good Luck to you – and I am super jealous that you live in Dupont, I love that area.
Laura Jane @ Recovering Chocoholic
September 9, 2011 at 9:20 am (9 years ago)Wow, I love your attitude and perspective. I’m also so impressed that you didn’t use the situation as an excuse to overeat. That shows you have truly changed in great ways!
Tina @ Faith Fitness Fun
September 9, 2011 at 9:23 am (9 years ago)I am SO proud of you!!! You really are going after dreams and making life what you need it to be and what you want from it. It’s inspiring and I love you. I want to give you a big hug and then a high five and then treat you to a beer. 😉
Theodora
September 9, 2011 at 9:25 am (9 years ago)I didn’t know about the promotion!!! Congrats!!!
Jenny
September 9, 2011 at 9:28 am (9 years ago)Beth, you never fail to amaze me. I went through a breakup and sadly, had none of the positive and healthy perspective you have. I finally got to a good place but it was a long time coming.
Enjoy “your” time now and congrats on all you’ve accomplished.
Liz
September 9, 2011 at 9:29 am (9 years ago)I thought something might be going on just because of the move and that you hadn’t mentioned him, but I didn’t want to ask and seem like a creeper. You have an awesome attitude about this and it seems like it was for the best. It’s hard to know when it’s over after that many years of being together, so I’m glad you are moving on and doing what is right for you.
msn
September 9, 2011 at 9:30 am (9 years ago)Beth, I have never commented before, but I read your blog every day; it is one of my favorites. I felt compelled to comment today — last fall, my relationship of five years ended, and I moved out of the apartment I shared with my boyfriend, in Virginia, and back into DC. I have to admit that I was wondering if you were doing something similar when reading your blog recently. You’ve already come a long way, but I just want to say – it’s never easy, even when it’s the right thing. I wish you all the best. And…it does get better. (Not easier…just better.) Thank you for sharing this with us.
alison
September 9, 2011 at 9:30 am (9 years ago)Congrats on your promotion, Beth! You are a really positive person and I admire that. Best wishes on your new single girl life in DC. It’s exciting to think what could be in store for you!
ps–i’m married, but my husband is deployed and it IS nice to do things on your own schedule…and to watch whatever you want on TV!! 🙂
Gretchen @ Honey, I Shrunk the Gretchen!
September 9, 2011 at 9:31 am (9 years ago)I’m so proud of you too. I know that you’ve said that this is all for the better before, but it’s still never easy to go through a breakup, especially for a relationship that lasted so long. You are SO strong, Beth, and I continue to be amazed by you, and so happy to know you! Can’t wait until your schedule dies down a little so we can hang out and be awesommmmme together 😀
Morgan @ Becoming Rooks
September 9, 2011 at 9:35 am (9 years ago)Congrats on your promotion! You have such a positive outlook I am sure the future holds even more wonderful things for you!
Kimberly
September 9, 2011 at 9:35 am (9 years ago)Congrats on your promotion and all your accomplishments. I enjoy reading your blog & wish only the best for you.
Amanda
September 9, 2011 at 9:36 am (9 years ago)Beth I’m happy to hear things are going well for you. Sounds like you are at peace with your decision to split from Wil. I’m glad you’ve been able to move forward in such a positive manner. You are truly and inspiration to others who might be faced with the same situation at home.
Jen, a priorfatgirl
September 9, 2011 at 9:39 am (9 years ago)You amaze me – ’nuff said
Rachel
September 9, 2011 at 9:39 am (9 years ago)Beth – I think you are in such a healthy, great place in your life and this makes sense. I wish you the best in your new place and I think it’s a wonderful fresh start – stay positive as always 🙂
Mary
September 9, 2011 at 9:43 am (9 years ago)Beth,
Sorry to hear about your breakup…breakups are never easy. A lot of people just stay in a relationship that isn’t working because they are afraid to be single. It’s clear you are very independent and true to yourself!
Great job on the promotion and hope only good things come your way!
Kerry
September 9, 2011 at 9:44 am (9 years ago)As horrible as break ups are, it sounds like you’re in a really good place! Enjoy your new found freedom
thehealthyapron
September 9, 2011 at 9:48 am (9 years ago)Wow Beth! Sounds like you are in a really healthy place! I’m so happy for you! What magazines will you be featured in!? That is so exciting!
Holly @ The Runny Egg
September 9, 2011 at 9:56 am (9 years ago)Seems like you are in a much better place — you have a such a positive attitude which I love. I’m glad things are going good for you (work, WW, healthy living, etc)
🙂
TracyP
September 9, 2011 at 9:59 am (9 years ago)Reading your blog for so long, I wondered why there was no mention of Will lately. Thanks for updating us and for always being such a wonderful “healthy living” model for your readers/friends.
Linz
September 9, 2011 at 10:29 am (9 years ago)Like Tracy above I had been wondering the same thing. Sounds like you did the best thing for both of you. You’re in an amazing place right now, I can’t wait to read about what comes next!
katie
September 9, 2011 at 10:31 am (9 years ago)change is hard, and sad, but it sounds like you have a great outlook on your future.
Lisa
September 9, 2011 at 12:56 pm (9 years ago)Change IS hard. I suggest you start a new tradition on Sundays that you can look forward to so it’s not sad memories of “us time”/
Meg
September 9, 2011 at 10:35 am (9 years ago)Wow, Beth – kudos to you for maintaining such a positive, refreshing outlook on your life as you come to terms with this big change. Also, welcome to the neighborhood! Dupont is an amazing area to meet lots of new people, especially those with interests in healthy lifestyles! Best of luck, and I can’t wait to see what comes along for you next!
Christine @ Merf In Progress
September 9, 2011 at 10:38 am (9 years ago)I’ve sort of been expecting this post for a while now. In a way I’m sorry to hear it, but in another way I am glad to hear that you’re following your heart and doing what is best and healthiest for you. You’re one strong chica!
Cynthia (It All Changes)
September 9, 2011 at 10:41 am (9 years ago)I now it’s not easy to lose something like relationship but finding the positives in life help me get through it. Keep it up Beth because your ability to say on path to being healthy is wonderful for me when I struggle.
Cait @ Beyond Bananas
September 9, 2011 at 10:55 am (9 years ago)I’ve been wondering about this when I saw your status change on FB. You are looking at everything with a great attitude. You have clearly made some major like changes over the four years.. and sometimes people just go different ways! I am glad you are on good terms… it tends to make things easier!
Enjoy this time to yourself.. and your single life! 🙂
Valerie @ City|Life|Eats
September 9, 2011 at 10:59 am (9 years ago)I am so impressed with how well you are handling this and how positive you are.
Lauren @ Oatmeal after Spinning
September 9, 2011 at 11:15 am (9 years ago)Beth, this is amazing- thanks so much for the honesty and sharing what you’ve been going through. I never would have guessed!
It is really hard to go through a transition as great as you’ve done and be able to evolve in a relationship. You’ve obviously changed immensely, and I guess to stay with someone, you kind of have to change together. You really do have an amazing attitude and outlook on life. So many things seem to be going right for you- and so many doors are opening- but you’ve truly earned everything because you’ve worked for it.
Best of luck in your new single life- AND HAVE FUN!! DC is a fun city to be single in- I can personally reflect on that!
Congrats on the promotion and the upcoming WW Leader training! How exciting!!
Gwen
September 9, 2011 at 11:16 am (9 years ago)Strength and courage my friend. Way to stay strong and true to yourself. BIG hugs!
Spenser
September 9, 2011 at 11:48 am (9 years ago)I’ve been following your blog for a few months now and have to tell you what an inspiration you are! I was really struck by this post because it’s eerily similar to how my life has been evolving as well! My long-term boyfriend (almost 4 years) and I just ended our relationship for similar reasons. I am now living on my own in a brand new city and taking a brand new approach on life. I was a professional dancer and now am going to school to be an elementary school teacher and am recovering from a major eating disorder. It’s amazing how although our weight and food circumstances are quite opposite, the feelings, emotions and path to a healthy life are so similar! Thank you for your constant positivity, inspiration and persistence on your discovery to a new beautiful you:)!
Leanne
September 9, 2011 at 11:50 am (9 years ago)You truly are an inspiration! It would have been sooo easy for you to bash Wil or give your side here on the blog. Choosing the high road says a lot about your character.
Congratulations on your move and promotion!
Heather @ Dietitian on the Run
September 9, 2011 at 12:14 pm (9 years ago)It was brave of you to put this out there, and speaks volumes of the respect you two have for each other (and yourselves) that you could end things so “amicably” (or at least, seemingly so). 🙂 From the tone of this post, there’s no doubt you have had a few rough days, but it sounds like, overall, you have no question that you’re where you’re supposed to be and doing whats best for YOU. Love it!
Congrats on the promotion, and here’s to new amazing things that are coming your way!
Katy Widrick
September 9, 2011 at 12:28 pm (9 years ago)Love you, friend.
Dani
September 9, 2011 at 12:40 pm (9 years ago)Girl, you are so amazing! Change is never easy but it sounds like you are handling this in stride. Congrats on all the awesome things going on in your life 🙂
Jamie
September 9, 2011 at 12:40 pm (9 years ago)How is his daughter taking the break up? That must be hard. My son had a hard time when I broke up with a boyfriend in the past. We got through it, and I am engaged to a great guy now, but I know if affects them. (I hope I am not rubbing salt in, I am just honestly curious).
Lisa
September 9, 2011 at 12:54 pm (9 years ago)I had a feeling something was going on, and I’m assuming it was the issue you and I talked about privately. I’m sorry that you’re going through this but I think it’s probably for the best. You’ve changed a lot and you need to be with someone who shares the same priorities (health, fitness) and goals. That’s not saying that your perfect partner HAS to be a marathon runner but there has to be some common interests there.
I never expected to lose friends when I lost 100 pounds. I wrote about the topic (a few times in fact). It was shocking to lose friends. I didn’t lose romantic relationships because I wasn’t dating seriously during the 2 years it took me to lose 110 pounds. I was dating casually and not invested in any of the relationships. I think had I been in a serious relationship it probably would have ended too. The type of guys I dated BEFORE are way different that what my type is “now”. Michael is into healthy living, cooking healthy meals and we are SUPER active together (hiking, biking, etc). It’s perfect.
You’ll find your perfect. 🙂
Mary (A Merry Life)
September 9, 2011 at 1:56 pm (9 years ago)Chiming in to add to the very proud chorus of readers. You are amazing and it’s so awesome how you have handled this situation. I hope you keep going with everything and continue to do well with the blog and at work and in life. You are awesome and I <3 you.
Roz
September 9, 2011 at 2:05 pm (9 years ago)You have a wonderful attitude. Breakups are never easy, but sounds like this one is truly for the best for both of you. I see you SOARING as you enter this new chapter of your life! Congrats on all you have acheived, and can’t wait to read about what is yet to come!!! Have a great day.
Nikki
September 9, 2011 at 2:19 pm (9 years ago)I am glad everything is working out! Break-ups are hard, and I am so impressed how positive you are about the whole thing. You know what is weird, is I have been reading your blog for over a year, and I never knew you lived with Wil, You mentioned the suppers you ate together, and I always assumed he came over. That your dates were just dates, and the rest of the time you did your own thing. Glad you found personal happiness!! I hope when you are ready, and it is the right time for you, you find someone who compliments that healthy, happy side of you.
Lynne
September 9, 2011 at 2:38 pm (9 years ago)While a breakup is never easy, your optimism and perspective about everything is encouraging.
Ashley @ Coffee Cake and Cardio
September 9, 2011 at 2:54 pm (9 years ago)I am so incredibly happy for you and your life. I can imagine that it has been tough, but you have been so positive and have so many great things going for you!
You’re one tough cookie and we all really look up to you!
Katie
September 9, 2011 at 2:59 pm (9 years ago)Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same. So proud of you for staying on track even during this rough time in your life. YOU ROCK GIRL!
MJ
September 9, 2011 at 3:11 pm (9 years ago)Like others have said, you rock! I went through a breakup a little over a year ago and it took me a long time to get over it and be in a happy place again. I used to do nothing but lie on my couch feeling sorry for myself, drinking wine and eating junk to dull the pain. It’s so amazing that you’re not letting this interfere with your fitness goals. You are awesome and a great inspiration for me.
Ang
September 9, 2011 at 3:45 pm (9 years ago)I’m sorry to hear about the break-up. I had noticed he wasn’t being mentioned on the blog as of late and then when you announced your move I wondered. It sounds like you are doing really well and being really strong! I know from experience that sometimes people are no longer compatible and stay together because it’s comfortable or less scary than going it alone so I commend you for taking the step that is right for you! Hopefully you will have much happiness in the future! Sounds like you are off to a good start! Congratulations on the promotion!
Andie B @AndieRuns
September 9, 2011 at 4:47 pm (9 years ago)wow. good for you! break-ups are NEVER easy – especially when you feel like you’ve invested so much of yourself and time. you have so many people rooting for you; I am so happy to see that you’re well and that you have SO many bright things in your life!!
Erin @ A Girl & Her Mutt
September 9, 2011 at 5:00 pm (9 years ago)I’m really sorry Beth. Not sorry that you are getting to grow and experience new things, but sorry for any pain you have. I know it can be tough to lose a relationship, even if in the end it is for the better.
I love your great attitude and I see even more positive things coming your way!!!
Ally's Sweet & Savory Eats
September 9, 2011 at 5:09 pm (9 years ago)So sorry to hear this Beth. It sounds like you have made the right decision and are doing the right thin – hang in there!
Like the new look:)
Amy @ Amy Starts to Run
September 9, 2011 at 8:08 pm (9 years ago)Here’s to new beginnings!
Lauren
September 9, 2011 at 9:20 pm (9 years ago)I am so sorry to hear about your breakup but commend you for your honesty and positive outlook on this all. Great things are in store for you girl!!
Katrina
September 9, 2011 at 9:34 pm (9 years ago)good for you, Beth. I just broke up with by bfriend not quite a month ago and it is pretty awful at first- but sometimes the right thing to do isn’t so easy. Glad you are still on sort of good terms with him, that helps. Hang in there, it’ll get better. That’s funny what you said about Sunday- every Sunday evening around sundown is the hardest part of the week.
Brittany @ LessBritt MoreLife
September 9, 2011 at 10:27 pm (9 years ago)Yay Beth! Congrats on the promotion! and yay for all the wonderful things going on in your life 🙂
Heather
September 9, 2011 at 11:31 pm (9 years ago)Keep the positive attitude girl, you have so much going for you!
Caitlin
September 10, 2011 at 12:35 am (9 years ago)Beth as always you are a rockstar. I can’t wait to keep reading and see where your hard work and determination take you. Congrats on all of the amazing things happening for you! You deserve it all. Xoxo
Allison
September 10, 2011 at 6:49 am (9 years ago)You have such a great, positive outlook despite the hardship… I’m sorry to hear about your break up but congrats to everything else in your life- that’s great! Keep smiling 😀
Grace
September 10, 2011 at 8:31 am (9 years ago)You are such an inspiration, Beth. Truly. So happy for you that things keep on getting better and better for you … and it’s not luck, it’s all work that you’ve put into it.
Hot Coco
September 10, 2011 at 8:36 am (9 years ago)Wow. Beth, everything about your post reads healthy. The phrase “Queen of Self-Care” just popped into my head. All hail! 🙂
Laura
September 10, 2011 at 9:26 am (9 years ago)First off CONGRATULATIONS on all of your success that are coming through. It is no accident that they are happening now as you are embracing to live a life that is beyond your wildest dreams.
Yes changes happened, we grow apart from relationships and it is sad. But I love the way you get to see that it’s not all or nothing. Thank you for your honesty.
So excited to see what other amazing miracles will continue to come through in your life. To new beginnings!
jassy @ Healthy Egg
September 10, 2011 at 9:58 am (9 years ago)wow! we’re on the same boat right now. it’s a bit hard for me right now because at my age, everyone’s getting married. you’re an inspiration 🙂
helga
September 10, 2011 at 11:31 am (9 years ago)Kudos to you for all the wonderful things that are happening in your life. But I have to admit that I am sceptical that the break-up was all about the healthier choices you were making. While being respectful of Wil is a priority is it possible for you to go into any more detail about the difficulties making your priorioties (healthy choices, your diet and exercise plan, etc) work in the context of a relationship? I think so many of us are challenged in finding a balance between our needs and those of a family /partner. Is it just easier to make huge life changes when one doesn’t have to compromise? Is it only going to work with someone who has the same habits, needs, and goals as you ?
helga
September 10, 2011 at 9:04 pm (9 years ago)I need to add that I have been following your blog for awhile and enjoyed the bits of Wil you brought in so I may be biased. I realize that you have struggled with these issues for awhile but I would love to hear some more reflections on relationships and food needs, balance, compromise, fame (you are famous now you realize), ego and weight loss, changing life goals and their impact on others, how success impacts one’s relationships, etc., etc. I am a psychologist so of course these topics interest me and I think you may have valid insights both for me and the people I work with. Thanks.
Shrinking Mommy of 2
September 11, 2011 at 5:53 pm (9 years ago)I totally understand how you have changed! It is sometimes difficult on relationships but in the long run it is best for YOU! Keep you head up high! You are doing awesome and enjoy your new beginning!
Mary
September 11, 2011 at 10:44 pm (9 years ago)I tend to eat my feelings (who doesn’t) too and I think hard times really test are strength in a lot of different ways. Reading this I felt sadness because I know how you feel but I was also inspired to have courage because I could feel the strength in your tone. Life isn’t easy and we are all faced with difficult situations and you are handling this beautifully.
Mavis
September 12, 2011 at 11:47 am (9 years ago)Hey Beth! Somehow I’ve been missing your posts in my inbox, so I just wanted to stop by and say ‘Hello!’ It seems like life is going great for you, and although breakups can be hard, you’ll know in your heart when you’ve done the right thing. Keep going strong girl!
Lauren @ Lettuce Eat Cake
September 12, 2011 at 1:43 pm (9 years ago)Wishing all the best for you during this tough time, Beth! It sounds like you guys have handled everything in the most mature and civil way possible, so kudos to that. It’s so much better to realize now that you’re on different pages than to continue on ignoring the truth. Stay strong! We are all here for you!
Happy When Not Hungry
September 13, 2011 at 8:39 am (9 years ago)You are such a strong and positive person! Thank you for sharing this post with everyone. I can imagine how difficult things have been, but they will definitely get better 🙂
Christine
September 14, 2011 at 1:07 pm (9 years ago)I too had a suspicion something was up with your talks of downsizing and decorating. Although I’m very happy in my relationship, im secretly jealous of your singledom! It’s so empowering to live aline and feel the liberating freedom to do anything and everything you like. You seem to be in such a good place – keep up the positivity!
annelies
September 15, 2011 at 9:09 pm (9 years ago)Good for you. I appreciate you being able to see all that is going on right now for you that is good and not dwell on that change. It sounds like you’re moving in a direction you’re supposed to.