For as long as I remember, I’ve been unhappy with my body. As an adolescent, I considered myself too chubby to look cute in the clothes my friends wore, too out of shape keep up with the other kids in gym class, and too unattractive for boys to be interested in me. As I got older, being overweight transitioned into being obese. My already low self esteem got even worse and caused my weight and health to spiral out of control. I could never shop at the same stores as my friends, took what I could get as far as romantic interests were concerned and always sold myself short because I was scared of putting myself out there.
Fast forward to the present, and I’ve completely transformed my life. Besides having lost almost 90 pounds, I’ve found confidence and learned to recognize that I have no reason to underestimate myself and what I can accomplish. I’ve made bold career moves, learned the importance of putting myself first and being an active player in my own life, and have made great strides toward finding balance in my life.
I am extremely proud of myself for how far I’ve come and how much I’ve changed myself, both inside and out. However, there’s still one big thing that is holding me back which is strictly physical, but affects me very much mentally — the extra skin and fat around my abdomen from losing almost 90 pounds.
With clothes on, I look like an average-sized person who is healthy and normal. Without them, you would have a very different impression of my lifestyle. I feel like I’ve worked way too hard to get where I am and still be so uncomfortable in my own skin.
I am self-conscious to the point that thinking about changing in a room full of my girlfriends literally makes me cringe. I am constantly pulling my shirt down for fear of someone getting a glimpse of my stomach. I wear a larger pant size than I’d like to and I shy far away from anything that clings to my body. And, I’m still wearing the same size underwear that I always did, even at 250 pounds.
These issues are things that I’ve been thinking about for a LONG time – pretty much since I hit my goal weight almost 2 years ago. I’ve stayed within the same 10-15 pounds of my goal for the whole time and even when at my goal, my stomach is still very unsightly and a source of extreme anxiety for me.
After hundreds of hours of research and poring over YouTube videos, online forums, blog posts, before and after pictures, and plastic surgeon websites, I’ve decided to move forward with getting plastic surgery on my abdomen to remove the excess skin and fat.
While still in the beginning stages, I’ve had two consultations with plastic surgeons, and have a third set up for next week. The first doctor I saw I loved, but the second one I hated. We’ll see how it goes with the third. This is a major surgery so it will involve a large investment of time, money, and courage. But, in the end, I am confident it will all be worth it.