I’m Just Gonna Say It

I need to lose weight. Again. Ugh.

While 2014 was a decent year for me overall, I really let my health fall down the list of priorities, and in turn, this blog. You can pretty much rest assured that if I’m not blogging, it’s because i’m not being good. Even though I KNOW that, and I’ve admitted it again and again, I somehow still possess the power to successfully trick myself into actually thinking the two aren’t related.

I remain an all or nothing person. When I’m on track and losing weight, i eat, breath, and sleep weight loss. When I tried to move into “coast” mode with weight maintenance, it was really difficult for me to navigate having healthy living be just a part of my life and not front and center. It happened slowly at first, missing a workout here or there, or ordering pizza after a night out on the town. Then it evolved into not making it to the gym once while traveling for work for a weeklong stretch, to ordering delivery becoming a regular part of the rotation. And then, here we are, and I can count on one hand the number of times I worked out in 2014 and healthy, home cooked meals have become less and less the norm.

I’m not ready to share the number on the scale yet, and I wish so bad that i didn’t feel a twinge of pain/guilt with saying that. I know exactly what I would say to anyone who came to me and said, “I am so embarrassed that I’ve gained weight back and I don’t know what to do.”

Your weight is just a number.

Your weight doesn’t define you.

There are so many other ways to measure health.

Set goals based on where you are now.

Don’t waste time wishing you were in a different place. You’re not. Accept it.

And even knowing all that and being ready with those forgiving words at the drop of a hat to someone else, I still have trouble saying them, and meaning them, to myself. So I guess I’m still working on just accepting it myself before I can share it with you.

In more upbeat news, a few concrete things I’m doing to help with my vague health goals for 2015 are:

  1. Set up a Beth’s Journey DietBet to start on Monday, January 12, 2015.
  2. Rejoined Weight Watchers.
  3. Looking into getting a Fitness Tracker – interesting discussion on this FB post: https://www.facebook.com/bethsjourney/posts/824367797624679. I still haven’t decided, but that conversation definitely tells me that people are passionate about their fitness tracker, whichever one it is!
  4. Signed up for the 2015 Cherry Blossom 10 Miler for April 13, 2015. Yikes.

102 Comments on I’m Just Gonna Say It

  1. Laurie
    January 8, 2015 at 12:20 pm (6 years ago)

    Beth, glad to see you here. Many of your longtime followers are in the same situation (well, I am, for one). Honesty with ourselves and others is key. Happy new year, happy new leg of the journey.

    • Beth
      January 8, 2015 at 12:25 pm (6 years ago)

      Thanks for the support, Laurie. I know I’m not alone, but I feel like we all need to get to the point where we can admit it to ourselves before we can share it with anyone else – and that’s what I’ve been working on behind the scenes!

  2. Summah
    January 8, 2015 at 12:28 pm (6 years ago)

    It’s tough being honest with yourself, but I’m glad you posted! Life is a game of ups and downs, you can do it!

    • Beth
      January 8, 2015 at 2:39 pm (6 years ago)

      Thanks, Summah. Already feels better to have it out there!

      • Sina Walker
        January 1, 2016 at 1:04 pm (5 years ago)

        Thank you so much for sharing this Beth, remember it’s a life long fight. I personally have been battling with my weight all my life, even as a teenager I was always a little on the chubby side and got picked on consistently. But as an adult woman things changed for worse as I gained all the more excess weight especially after my first pregnancy. However recently I have lost almost 35 pounds, after a friend of mine shared a weight-loss newsletter from a German diet guru with me, so with the intention to give back this is a link to the free newsletter for women: http://bit.ly/1kxNYvM

  3. gwenniepie
    January 8, 2015 at 12:51 pm (6 years ago)

    It’s SO stinking hard, Beth! I’m right there with you. Last night I was going through all of my old trackers from 2005/2006 and trying to make a plan for myself. We can do it. We already have. It’s just a real BITCH. Thinking of ya!

    • Beth
      January 8, 2015 at 2:39 pm (6 years ago)

      Haha exactly. I KNOW I can do it, I did it before, I’ll do it again. But man does it suck!

  4. LC
    January 8, 2015 at 1:12 pm (6 years ago)

    Glad to see you back! I’m also in the same boat and rejoined (well re-committed as I never stopped paying them) WW on 12/28. I hate that this seems to happen to so many of us but it can also be a (bit) comforting to know we are not alone in this struggle.

    • Beth
      January 8, 2015 at 2:37 pm (6 years ago)

      Glad to be back. Feels good! And I guess there is comfort in not being the only one in the boat… a little. 🙂

  5. Leah (goodnight, cheese)
    January 8, 2015 at 1:23 pm (6 years ago)

    I really think that you just did the absolute hardest part, which is admitting that you slipped.

    It was for me. I lost 50 pounds in 2011-2012 and then gained 40 back by either pretending it wasn’t happening, pretending it wasn’t as bad as I thought, or just being mad at myself but not actually changing anything. As of now I’m 15 pounds down from that 40, and it’s so so slow, but I’m doing it.

    What I might add to your list is: You can change it. Whatever your weight is right now, you’re changing it.

    • Beth
      January 8, 2015 at 2:35 pm (6 years ago)

      Isn’t it amazing how talented we are at fooling ourselves? Even though we KNOW all along, we still have to wait until we’re ready – which is not necessarily the same timing. It’s encouraging to hear that you’re back down – and they say the slower the better because it means it’s more permanent? Silver lining? 🙂

      • Leah (goodnight, cheese)
        January 12, 2015 at 10:17 am (6 years ago)

        Ha, that’s also what I hear!
        Quick question about the DietBet – I was all set to join and excited, but then I realized that at 176ish pounds, I’d have to lose seven pounds in four weeks in order to be considered a winner. I don’t think that’s possible without severely restricting as that’s almost two pounds a week. Is there any flexibility on this? 4% just seems like a lot for anyone, unless they’re just starting out and might get that first-week bonus.

  6. chelsea
    January 8, 2015 at 1:28 pm (6 years ago)

    So glad to see you back! Your blog was the one I followed the most closely when I was going through my weight loss journey is 2011 as I felt like you were the most real (maybe also because I’m local to DC and felt most connected by seeing things I recognized in your posts!) I’m also in the same boat and had a tough last year so I’ve regained quite a bit of weight back and have recommitted myself. I look forward to hearing about your journey and am always willing to be an accountability friend if you need someone more outside of your life! Good luck!

    • Beth
      January 8, 2015 at 2:32 pm (6 years ago)

      Thanks for your comment, Chelsea. It’s nice to hear we’re not alone, eh? And I do try to always be authentic, and since my struggle with weight is unfortunately never ending, I can’t give you the light at the end of the tunnel hope that many others seem to achieve somehow haha. But, admitting it is a big first step, so I guess we both get a feather is our cap for that.

  7. Clare
    January 8, 2015 at 1:32 pm (6 years ago)

    Thanks for sharing – as you say – feeling able to set out where you are and why is at least halfway there. I find it so hard day by day to maintain the balance between genuinely loving and accepting my body and not viewing weight gain as a failure, but also acknowledging that it is not healthy to be overweight, nor to eat stuff with no control or for reasons that have nothing to do with hunger. I try and remain focused on the fact that life really is a journey – you will never be able to just attain a weight you want then stop, but equally there is no weight gain that you aren’t able to address, taking each day at a time and getting better at trying to make tiny changes you can really stick to forever. We’re all with you on this! X x

    • Beth
      January 8, 2015 at 2:27 pm (6 years ago)

      I think for me, that same struggle is a big part of it. I’m more comfortable in my body now than I was before I had the skin removal surgery last year, and I feel like if I really want to lose weight, I need to be so focused on it to be successful. I think being unhappy with my body was part of what fueled that motivation, and now that that’s partly gone, I’ve had a harder time recommitting fully. But, I’ve been toying with the idea of getting back on track for a couple months now and making small steps in the right direction, and I finally feel like I’m there. I just need to make sure it sticks. 🙂

      • babs
        January 17, 2015 at 5:57 pm (6 years ago)

        Some advice I’ve seen a few times: it’s important to have a goal we’re working TOWARD instead of just an unpleasant reality we’re working AWAY from. That is, we’re often highly motivated when we’re moving away from a weight that makes us unhappy, but once that pain (social, medical, whathaveyou) is gone or mitigated, we need to replace that “away” focus with a “toward” goal. I’ve lost ~100 lbs three times and regained much of it each time, b/c even though I hadn’t reached goal weight, I was no longer experiencing the things I was working against: aching joints, not fitting in chairs, rude comments, not finding clothes in my size, etc. So your signing up for a marathon is a great idea. Creating new recipes is also great… exploiting your foodie interests instead of relying on take-out. For me, I’ve got a trip in October I need to get in shape for, but I’ve also come to terms with the fact that I hate the daily reality of cooking and cleaning up all the time, so I’m trying to figure out a busy woman’s guide to dieting, e.g., as much prep work on the weekends as I can, not feeling guilty for using frozen veggies, etc. Good luck to all of us who are relosing weight: treading over the same path doesn’t seem to have the same thrill as the first time… any tips on finding that thrill on the second/third/etc. go-around would be appreciated!

  8. Lynne
    January 8, 2015 at 2:04 pm (6 years ago)

    I’m glad you are back, just signed up for the Diet Bet!

    • Beth
      January 8, 2015 at 2:24 pm (6 years ago)

      Woohoo! 🙂

  9. jeanne
    January 8, 2015 at 2:59 pm (6 years ago)

    you have a lot of company! I find that once I lose weight, i immediately start telling myself that I can now live as a skinny person–which in my deluded head means “eat whatever I want.” I cannot begin to TELL YOU the number of times this has happened. You would think i would learn. It’s like i can’t wait to get to the place where I don’t have to think about this anymore–never realizing that there is no such place. Ugh. Good luck!!!

    • Beth
      January 8, 2015 at 3:27 pm (6 years ago)

      Lol. I feel like those words could have come out of my mouth instead of yours! Same story here. At least there’s comfort in finding others to relate to!?

  10. Victoria
    January 8, 2015 at 4:07 pm (6 years ago)

    Totally not the main point of this post, but I’m also doing the Cherry Blossom 10 miler!

    • Beth
      January 8, 2015 at 4:35 pm (6 years ago)

      YAY! Totally a part of the post – it’s where I’m headed! 🙂

  11. Rebecca Casarez
    January 8, 2015 at 4:18 pm (6 years ago)

    I LOVE that you struggle with weight loss and maintenance! That it isn’t “easy” ALL the time for you. You inspire in your imperfection. You remind me that the struggle will always be there. The struggle IS REAL for many and you remind me that I am not a failure because I’m not at a weight that I want to be.

    Thank you for being honest and open! We can totally do this in our own time!

    • Beth
      January 8, 2015 at 7:54 pm (6 years ago)

      Haha! I’m glad that YOU love it, but I wish I didn’t struggle so much. And it really isn’t easy. Thanks so much for your support – it means more than you know. And yes, we can do it (again).

  12. Lisa Eirene
    January 8, 2015 at 4:37 pm (6 years ago)

    I appreciate your honesty. All of this is part of the weight loss and maintenance journey and it isn’t often addressed. Like you said…bloggers gain weight and tend to disappear from the blogosphere. Glad you are back and sharing your experiences.

    I was doing really well with maintenance — 6+ years. Then I got married in September and gained 10 pounds on my honeymoon! Really it was a combination of the honeymoon and the first month back. I let the food slip. I still worked out normally but I was lazy and didn’t pay attention and ate things I don’t normally eat.

    Now I’m struggling to get back on track with food. I’m trying to lose weight but after so many years in maintenance mode and not HAVING to be in weight loss mode (ie restricting calories) it’s been hard. I’m having a hard time changing gears in my head. I guesstimate I have about 15/20 pounds to lose to get back to where I was before I got engaged (I gained about 7 pounds that year due to a lot of stress eating!). It’s going to be hard but I’m finally making that mental shift. Hope you continue to blog your weight loss efforts.

    • Beth
      January 8, 2015 at 8:59 pm (6 years ago)

      Hey Lisa! Long time, no talk. Sorry to hear you’re struggling too. I always thought you had such a healthy, balanced approach to maintenance, but it’s so easy to let a few pounds turn into 5 pounds turning into 10, 15… and then what’s next? That’s why I’m trying to get control of this (again) before I get back to where I was, because when the momentum is moving the numbers up on the scale, something’s gotta give to make it stop!

  13. Jesse
    January 8, 2015 at 5:09 pm (6 years ago)

    I’m happy to see you back, and look forward to seeing more posts throughout the year! Your blog is one of my favorites, and I was bummed to see it so sparse last year. But I completely understand. I too gained approx 25lbs over the year of 2014, all the weight I worked super hard (exercise and WW) to lose the previous year. It’s heartbreaking but at some point we all have to pick up the pieces and put ourselves back together. I have complete faith you’ll get back in action, and I can’t wait to see you do it! 🙂

    • Beth
      January 8, 2015 at 7:57 pm (6 years ago)

      Thanks so much for your nice comment – I really appreciate it. I think it’s normal to go through phases with weight loss and my commitment to it, but this last phase of being disconnected went on for far too long. I’m just glad I snapped out of it before I got all the way back to where I started, because it is SUCH a slippery slope for me!

  14. kali14
    January 8, 2015 at 6:58 pm (6 years ago)

    Yay! So glad you’re back! I am in the same boat as you. I gained back 50 of my 90 lbs lost. I’m back at it like I never regressed. Can’t wait to share it with you! I am going to sign up for your diet bet!

    • Beth
      January 8, 2015 at 7:55 pm (6 years ago)

      It really is comforting to know we’re not alone, but it still sucks! Glad to hear you’ll be joining the DietBet – I really think it’ll help us stay on track. We got this.

  15. Kelly @ No Thanks to Cake
    January 8, 2015 at 11:56 pm (6 years ago)

    Oh how I can relate to this post. If you hop over to my blog, you’ll see a similar story from me on Monday. I’m not talking about my number, but I do plan on dropping the excess… Immediately. Glad you are facing it and writing about it again. Excited to lose with you in the new year, beautiful. xoxo

    • Beth
      January 9, 2015 at 10:14 am (6 years ago)

      Kelly!! Thanks for chiming in – heading over to check your post out. Gotta get on it before it gets back to where it was… We got this. Miss you! xoxo

      • Kelly @ No Thanks to Cake
        January 22, 2015 at 11:29 pm (6 years ago)

        Checking back in. How is it going? And will I see you at Fitbloggin in June?

  16. Amy
    January 9, 2015 at 12:04 am (6 years ago)

    Are you in my mind? It’s like you wrote so many of my recent thoughts. Thank you for continuing to share your journey honestly.

    • Beth
      January 9, 2015 at 10:16 am (6 years ago)

      Ha I don’t THINK I’m in your brain but glad you can relate! It honestly feels really refreshing to have this out there now – like a big burden lifted off my chest. I’m ready to get back to it!

  17. H Britto
    January 9, 2015 at 12:06 am (6 years ago)

    Don’t be too hard on yourself, it happens to the best of us. I was like that once losing weight then gaining it all back. It doesn’t matter how many times you fail just pick yourself up and start again. You will find that one day everything will “click together” and you have achieved your goals.

    • Beth
      January 9, 2015 at 12:27 pm (6 years ago)

      Thanks for the nice comment! I am waiting for that day… 🙂 I haven’t gained all my weight back (or even close to it, really) but it is a slippery slope for me, and I now have more than just a couple pounds to lose like I have had basically since hitting my goal weight originally, so I know i needed to come to terms with it and take care of it BEFORE I did get back to my starting weight.

  18. Beth
    January 9, 2015 at 8:51 am (6 years ago)

    I gained and lost the same 5 lbs last year all year long, ready to really dig in this year and be consistent. Glad to see you are back! I also gained back the 30 I lost in 2008 — slowly maybe but it’s still back. Good luck!

    • Beth
      January 9, 2015 at 12:39 pm (6 years ago)

      Consistency really is key. I know we hear that everywhere, but I think you need to experience it first hand to really embrace it. One meal really won’t hill your diet, but one healthy meal also won’t save it. 🙂

  19. lauramich (@lauramich)
    January 9, 2015 at 9:56 am (6 years ago)

    As a fellow maintainer (~140 pounds off for 5 years and counting), I think that having lost a significant amount of weight becomes part of your identity—so gaining even some of that back will mess with your identity.

    Because … I was in your shoes over a decade ago. I lost ~110 pounds between 1998 and 2000; I didn’t get all the way to my goal, but my “success story” was published on a website. Then, I put all the weight back on and then some. I felt ashamed—more ashamed to be fat the second time around than the first time.

    But in January 2008, I felt ready to tackle my weight once more. And I did it, making it all the way to my goal this time (in fact, a little past my goal!). And so far, this time around, I’ve kept it off through the stresses of losing both of my parents, struggling with infertility, then going through a surprise pregnancy (OK, I put 40 pounds back on for that! 😉 ) and the first two years of mommyhood, and seeing my husband through three cancer surgeries (minor as cancer goes, but y’know, still cancer).

    I really hate the smugness of “I did it, so you can, too!” but I hope my story does give you a little hope that it can be done. I’m rooting for you! Keep checking in!

    • Beth
      January 9, 2015 at 12:44 pm (6 years ago)

      Wow – you’re very inspiring. I didn’t detect any smugness – we’re all in this same journey. But hearing your story, and the struggles you faced and STILL managed to lose/maintain your weight loss makes me realize I really don’t have an excuse… but also that i’m REALLY gifted in coming up with compelling ones when I want to. 🙂

  20. Allyn
    January 9, 2015 at 10:37 am (6 years ago)

    I think that something all of us who have lost weight struggle with is the all or nothing mentality. I have maintained a 50lb loss for 17 years now (wow i cant believe its been that long). I think the toughest this has been figuring out moderation in eating and exercise. I have found that reading blogs/following people like Jillfit on facebook and metabolic effect on facebook has really helped me keep the mindset. Jillfit started a #moderation365 mindset training that has been really great for me.

    • jeanne
      January 9, 2015 at 11:52 am (6 years ago)

      What is Jillfit? can you post a link? Great job on maintaining — I’m in awe! 🙂

      • Beth
        January 9, 2015 at 12:42 pm (6 years ago)

        Thanks for the recommendation, Allyn! Here’s a link to the FB page for Jillfit: https://www.facebook.com/JillFit – I haven’t checked it out too much myself so can’t tell you my thoughts on it yet, but wanted to share the link.

        And yes – 17 years of maintenance is amazing. I’m in AWE.

        • Allyn
          January 9, 2015 at 4:21 pm (6 years ago)

          Thanks for posting the link. I think I am just attracted to her moderation lifestyle. Last year, after recovering from a heinous emergency hospital stay, I found myself out of shape and about 10 lbs heavier than what I wanted to be. I joined 1FW – an online personal training/nutrition group and really found for the first time that eating whole foods makes such a huge difference to the body. No more low fat/nofat stuff for me. I also track all of my food on myfitnesspal (and have been doing so for over a year now) and found to my surprise that I can eat so much more when it’s whole foods – veggies/meat/fruit/whole grains. I think it’s all about finding what works for you. I don’t like to run, so I don’t. I walk. I like to lift weights at home in my pj bottoms and sports bra- so I don’t go to a gym. That’s what works for me. I don’t do thinks that I dread anymore, and i eat foods that I like. Allow the glass of wine at night- but that may mean, cut down on the carbs with dinner. Just find what you can live with. Consistency is key!

  21. sassygirl711
    January 9, 2015 at 10:58 am (6 years ago)

    hi Beth!
    it’s hard work to keep the pounds off….but oh soooo easy to pack them on, isn’t it? have been a WW for four yrs. and kept off 54 lbs. I really don’t feel that the co. does a great job in encouraging or supporting ‘lifers’…after all, we’re sunk costs, right? no need to put too much into a group that has already reached a goal. but, as my doctor told me, the most
    impressive people are the ones who have lost weight and NOT REGAINED IT
    AGAIN & AGAIN. it’s awesome that you’re back with WW…keep going to the meetings: I truly believe if you find a great leader and group to blend with, you will be and STAY successful. WW online only works rarely and with a ton of discipline, IMHO.
    here’s to a great start in 2015! 🙂

    • Beth
      January 9, 2015 at 12:37 pm (6 years ago)

      Thanks sassygirl! (And BTW – that could be my name, too!) I do want to find a meeting I love again – when I was leading, I absolutely LOVED my group and felt like a real part of it, even though i was running the convo. I really do miss it… Good idea in finding one again!

  22. MargaritaMeleah
    January 9, 2015 at 12:09 pm (6 years ago)

    Thank you for an honest post. It’s great to know that I’m not alone in my struggles. We have more power than we realize and it’s possible to do anything we set our minds to. Just keep going! This is the first step!
    Best of luck, and keep posting honest, real content!

    • Beth
      January 9, 2015 at 12:40 pm (6 years ago)

      I’ll never post unless I mean it, which is why I’ve been absent for over a year! Ha. But thanks for the support, the comment, and for reading. 🙂

  23. mhb1969
    January 9, 2015 at 12:12 pm (6 years ago)

    Maybe it is time to leave Weightwatchers. After being up and down and in and out of weightwatchers I am trying something new for me. Not dieting but being healthy. I am tracking my food and increasing my excersie, but not focusing on the diet part. I don’t feel you really learn the real issues with food on weightwatchers by focusing on points. After meetin g with adiabetes specialist for my husband, I realized how little I really knew about nutrition. I am just focusing on a diabetic menu, which as the specialist pointed out to me, if everyone did that we would not have as much of an issue with Diabetes. It might take me longer, but hopefully it will be lasting.

    Hang in there Beth – Keep cooking your yummy food – I love your recipes! I know you will find what works best for you!

    • Beth
      January 9, 2015 at 12:48 pm (6 years ago)

      Thanks for your comment! I’ve had such an up and down relationship with WW over the years, and I’ve tried to do the whole “just be healthy’ thing. It just never works for me for long enough. I have such a hard time with moderation and i feel like WW gives me a framework for how much wiggle room I can allow myself and still lose weight.

      And, I actually created one of the first (healthy, WW-friendly) recipes this past weekend for the first time in ages, and am excited to share it. Hopefully next week! It’s carrot cake baked oatmeal cups and REALLY good!

      • Amy
        January 9, 2015 at 4:12 pm (6 years ago)

        This time around, for me, I am tracking everything using my WW points AND MyFitnessPal to track calories and nutrition. I agree with mhb1969 that WW does not teach enough about nutrition, but I have taught myself while using the principles of WW to keep me focused and accountable (especially on tracking, portion control, and the meeting support). I also agree that attending a meeting you love is crucial!

  24. cobee
    January 9, 2015 at 12:26 pm (6 years ago)

    Always glad to see you back! You’re one of my favorite HLBs because you don’t showboat or pretend to have it all together. I appreciate the honesty and hope you stick with blogging despite what’s happening with the scale. I’m sure a lot of people would benefit from reading your thoughts.

    • Beth
      January 9, 2015 at 12:49 pm (6 years ago)

      Haha I definitely don’t have it all together, and glad you get that I’m not trying to pretend I do! 🙂 Thanks very much for your comment – its ones like this that make me want to keep blogging.

  25. tattytruth
    January 9, 2015 at 12:55 pm (6 years ago)

    It’s like you’re speaking from my head. I’m also an all or nothing person and I took a “blogging” hiatus for a few months and guess what? Up 10 pounds. UGH. As your blog says though, it is a journey. I look forward to losing right along with you and as everyone else has said, no judgment, glad you’re back!

    • Beth
      January 9, 2015 at 2:25 pm (6 years ago)

      Thanks for the comment – it seems I’m way less alone than the image scenario i conjured up in my head! I’m just glad we both got our shit together to realize it was time to start the upward movement of the scale before it got back to where it used to be!

  26. Tori
    January 9, 2015 at 1:46 pm (6 years ago)

    I am so, so, so happy to see you back here blogging, Beth. I’ve really missed your blogs and motivation. I agree, it is always way easier to tell a friend all of those positive things than it is to tell ourselves(and believe it).

    I, too, had a blah 2014 with weight loss. BUT, I am rejuvenated and feel motivated again. 🙂

    SO proud of you for coming back to us…I know it is not easy!


  27. stellarfashionandfitness
    January 9, 2015 at 2:08 pm (6 years ago)

    Thank you for being so open with us! I have struggled in the same way, too, though I hadn’t reached my goal weight. I was about 70 pounds down from my highest weight & slowly started regaining weight. Now I’ve regained about 25 pounds, so I’m trying to work at it, while trying not to restrict myself too much & still have a life. That’s the tough part & I struggle with wanting to, then failing, to be more strict with myself. I’ll be following along and cheering you on as you get back at your healthy goals!

  28. Patricia StLouis
    January 10, 2015 at 2:22 pm (6 years ago)

    so sorry to hear abt. your situation…but at the same time…..I was sooo glad…you see Im in the same place and was really down until I read your blog. actually it gives me new desire to get back on track..My husband died 2 yrs ago in April and it is very lonely living alone..especially when I was bought up in a family of eleven..not used to not having someone around. your blog gave me a invisible ..’partner’..Thank you so much and here’s to your future sucess… may God bless you.Pat

  29. Gwen
    January 11, 2015 at 3:33 pm (6 years ago)

    Hi Beth, not sure how we never crossed paths over the last couple of years, but new to your blog. Sorry for your struggles; I hope 2015 is THE year for you. 🙂

  30. Kristin
    January 11, 2015 at 7:30 pm (6 years ago)

    I was down to goal a couple of years ago and have put a bunch of weight back on. So I get it. I joined your Dietbet group. I hope that will help me stay on track!

  31. Laura
    January 13, 2015 at 3:21 pm (6 years ago)

    Glad to see you back. I’m right there with you! Shake it off and move forward.

  32. Samantha
    January 14, 2015 at 6:31 am (6 years ago)

    Beth- I am so happy to see you blogging again! The past 2.5 years, I have gained all the weight I lost before plus 40 more! I am tired of the yo yo patterns and I am trying to still figure it out. Sometimes, when I see a pic of me, I can’t believe how bad I let it get as I guess I still see myself as a thinner person. I am forgiving myself for all of this and trying to make better decisions one day at a time… We can do this!

  33. Robyn
    January 26, 2015 at 12:51 pm (6 years ago)

    I, too, just rejoined WW after having lost 30 lbs & regained 12 of it back over the last 6 months. It was a slow regression due to a very busy schedule & a very fussy three year old. I kept making excuses for myself & finally got on the scale last week & realized how much I’ve slipped. I also realized how crappy I’ve felt over the last several months compared to how I was feeling before. My main goal for the year is to find a way to make myself healthy without stressing out over my family’s wants (it’s not easy to make meals for myself & separate ones for my husband & kids because they hate what I’m eating). Good luck on your journey!

  34. Gab
    January 28, 2015 at 12:05 am (6 years ago)

    A bit late to the party, but would love to see you blogging more here! I really enjoy your posts and as I’m also re-starting a weight loss enterprise, having put on a ton of weight after losing it last year, it would be great motivation to see your progress too!

  35. Joanna
    January 29, 2015 at 2:40 pm (6 years ago)

    I’m really impressed with you for sharing this personal and difficult thing. Just know you are NOT alone, that you are worth it, and that you are a good person. None of us are perfect and we have to learn to forgive ourselves a bit. You got this girl 🙂

  36. marthamckinnon@gmail.com
    January 30, 2015 at 7:20 pm (6 years ago)

    Hi Beth! I just found your blog today as I did a google search for weight watchers meal plans. Which then led me to this post. I love your honesty. The truth is that weight loss is hard and weight maintenance even harder! I think you are so smart to begin again. I’m a huge fan of Weight Watchers. I am a lifetime member who is passionate about sharing my belief that one of the keys to lasting weight loss is cooking healthy food for yourself. That, along with all the help WW provides with teaching us to manage our relationship with food were the keys for me! I’ve got tons of easy healthy WW recipes all with the Points Plus figured out on my site that may help you. Best of luck. I’ll definitely be checking back 🙂

  37. Mitch
    February 9, 2015 at 4:14 am (6 years ago)

    Its good to be honest about our short comings in this respect. For most of us, there will always be a battle between the goods and the bad in our minds. regarding eating and drinking habits.

  38. Naomi Teeter
    March 6, 2015 at 8:28 am (6 years ago)


    I’m not a sweet-talker. I give it straight and hope you can take it the right way. Here it goes. I used to think and do like you do (all or nothing). I lost about 150 pounds 6 years ago and struggled big time to keep it off for a few years… because of my all or nothing thinking. You said: ” I remain an all or nothing person. When I’m on track and losing weight, i eat, breath, and sleep weight loss.”

    That’s the problem. You labeled yourself with this “problem” and say, “I remain”… you might think this is simply telling the truth, but it really says, is, “this is who i am and I will never change it”.

    I’ve maintained 125 pounds of my weight loss over the last 6 years because I changed my thinking and mindset about myself. Your mindset sounds very FIXED. I hope you see this. And also, please don’t think I am comparing as if one is good and the other is bad. Part of me still struggles with a fixed mindset when life becomes very stressful. But when you develop a mindset of growth, you change your all or nothing thinking patterns. You begin to be more compassionate with yourself and get right back up the next day after failing. You see what the lesson is to be learned in every failure and setback.

    It sounds like you need someone to be accountable to… and maybe that’s why WW is a good option for that reason. Know you weaknesses and your strengths… they will help you on your journey.

    And stop beating yourself up for Christ’s sake. No one is perfect… not even you. 😉

  39. Crystal
    March 10, 2015 at 9:58 am (6 years ago)

    I wonder how we change the idea of good vs bad you stated “You can pretty much rest assured that if I’m not blogging, it’s because i’m not being good” we have to disconnect our self worth from what we do, i know i do. I just rejoined and am having difficulty with balance not diving into All things weight loss etc… You can check out Kirsten Neffs stuff in self compassion itis helpful

  40. Kristina
    March 16, 2015 at 8:51 am (6 years ago)

    Beth, please come back! Even if you’re not completely and totally focused on eating healthfully, WE MISS YOU! I miss hearing about your life and your thoughts- about food or not. You’re my favorite blogger Beth’s Journey can be about Beth’s life journey, right? 🙂

    • Lauren
      March 19, 2015 at 11:17 am (6 years ago)

      I agree – we miss you, Beth!

  41. Lily
    March 18, 2015 at 2:16 pm (6 years ago)

    Come back, girl!!! I follow you for over 3 years and love reading your blog.

  42. Robin
    March 26, 2015 at 9:10 am (6 years ago)

    Come Back Beth! You are missed by your biggest support group – your readers!

  43. Robin
    March 26, 2015 at 9:12 am (6 years ago)

    One more thing – I got this bit of wisdom from my WW leader recently. It’s hard work to be heavy, it’s hard work to lose weight, it’s hard work to maintain weight loss – – where do you want to put your hard work?

  44. heartful
    April 5, 2015 at 4:56 pm (5 years ago)

    I am just starting my weight loss journey (long overdue) and have poured over your blog. I’m sorry you’re currently struggling with maintenance, but I so appreciate your honesty. I hope you return to share the rest of your journey so you can continue to inspire others like me.

  45. Jebbica
    April 14, 2015 at 9:56 am (5 years ago)

    Please come back! (It deleted my last comment…arg!) I hope you know you are an inspiration! I have lost 50 lbs and have 25 more to go, and I’m starting to wonder how hard it is to keep it off. I’m sure it’s difficult, and that scares me. Still, I don’t want to give up now! The more you fall, the further you have to climb back up. Don’t let all that hard work be for nothing!

  46. Jenni
    May 13, 2015 at 3:55 pm (5 years ago)

    Hi Beth,

    I know its difficult keeping to the straight and narrow all of the time.

    Bu thanks for being honest about your situation.

    I must ne kinda lucky as my weight has been constant for a number of years despite what I eat but I try not to overdue it. But when I mean constant I mean constantly slightly overweight.

    I should really lose a couple of pounds but as my weight is constant I don’t have the motivation.

    But you can bet I will once and if my constant weight ends!

  47. Brenda
    May 13, 2015 at 8:01 pm (5 years ago)

    Beth I know where your coming from. I’m right there with you. I lost 150 lbs and worked for ww. I regained some of that and now it’s harder to lose it. It’s not just the weight though is it? There is more to it. It’s mental. How could I let it happen when I formally worked for ww? It feels like I let myself down and now I dread seeing people in public. Still working through it. Have to start again from the here and now. I guess I haven’t failed as long as I get up and keep trying. Hope to see another post from you.

  48. Alice
    June 5, 2015 at 4:55 pm (5 years ago)


    I think it is a constant struggle for a lot of us.

    We try hard we lose weight, we take our foot off the gas, we put it on again and so on and so forth.

    My trouble is I just love the food I’m not supposed to eat.

    I try and tell myself so long as I am a ‘healthy’ weigh, not a ideal weight, but healthy and not overweight or obese, I should be ok

  49. moran
    June 9, 2015 at 3:51 pm (5 years ago)

    you should blog again Beth!
    We’re waiting….

  50. Ben
    June 15, 2015 at 8:59 pm (5 years ago)

    Good luck 🙂

    Though I see those things such as “your weight doesn’t define you” as just rationalizations we use when we have weight issues. Tell that to somebody who is very overweight and they will disagree. I was 130kg and my weight definately did define me. Now that i’ve lost it I feel much better and am free to define myself in am much more positive way. Anyone who says they would not be happier at a lower weight is lying in my opinion.

  51. sara
    June 23, 2015 at 7:45 am (5 years ago)

    Just found your blog (was on a ‘best of list’ btw 🙂 ). And yeah, maintenance can be a B. :p I’m a new follower and I’m cheering for you-you’ve got this!

  52. Coby @ The Natural Healthy
    June 25, 2015 at 2:47 pm (5 years ago)

    It is very easy to be bad and gain weight again once you have losted. I find it useful by blogging as well to help keep up with the pace of my weight loss goals because then it holds you accountable to your following :). I wish you the best in getting back on track and look forward to seeing new post! Remember we are holding you accountable! 🙂

  53. robin
    July 9, 2015 at 6:59 pm (5 years ago)

    Where did you go?????

  54. Andrea Randall
    August 4, 2015 at 10:35 am (5 years ago)

    I hope you’re doing well. I’ve struggled for years and am finally finding peace.
    I miss seeing your story

  55. Melissa
    August 21, 2015 at 11:06 am (5 years ago)

    Hi Beth, So we all did this journey back in 2010 and rocked it. 2 babies later I’m starting up WW again. I see your last post was Jan 2015, just wanted to check on you and say it’s not too late lady! I’m not going to email you as well 🙂

  56. Alison
    September 4, 2015 at 4:29 am (5 years ago)

    Your honesty is just so beautiful. I wish you are having a fruitful 2015 Beth! Cheers for losing weight and for better health! 🙂

  57. Leah
    September 9, 2015 at 3:27 pm (5 years ago)

    Like you said, when you’re not blogging, it’s usually because you’re not eating well. Just a couple of weeks ago I started trying to force myself back from my unplanned hiatus. It’s hard. It sucks. But I think it will be worth it, right?
    I hope to see you in this space when you’re ready. We miss you.

  58. Jillian
    September 9, 2015 at 10:10 pm (5 years ago)

    I miss your blog, comeback!

  59. Mr. Glenn
    November 1, 2015 at 1:01 am (5 years ago)

    I love your blog, Beth.

  60. sally
    December 8, 2015 at 5:41 pm (5 years ago)

    Beth, are you still with weight watchers? So curious to hear your thoughts and experience with the updated plan!

  61. robin
    December 29, 2015 at 6:00 am (5 years ago)

    Where did she go????

  62. Weight Loss Camp
    January 14, 2016 at 11:15 pm (5 years ago)

    You coming back, Beth? Inquisitive (pronounced nosey) minds need to know…

  63. Amanda @BeingMyBestMe
    January 16, 2016 at 4:29 pm (5 years ago)

    I’m in the same place right now. A blog saved me last time. If it works again, I can’t ever stop.

  64. darla
    February 28, 2016 at 2:34 pm (5 years ago)

    Beth – I miss your blog and hope if nothing else that you are doing well. Please post even if it is to say farewell.

  65. Suzanne Shepherd
    July 25, 2016 at 12:41 pm (4 years ago)

    Beth, I’m so glad to see that you’re posting again! Congratulations to you for being vulnerable and willing to share your story. I know how hard it is. I am right there with you, having battled my weight for years. I am now 62 years old (can’t believe it) and am back on a weight loss program again and have lost 40 pounds since February. I still need to lose 50 more. For the last few days, I’ve been much more lax than I should have been. I made myself get on the scale this morning, and I was surprised to see that it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. That seems to be the case lots of times! There are so many of us just like you out there. You are young and beautiful. Keep up the process!

  66. Anna
    April 24, 2017 at 2:02 am (3 years ago)

    Nice post……..


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