Weigh In

Thrilled with The Gain

Going back to Weight Watchers to weigh in for the first time in a while can be pretty daunting for anyone, but I have been putting an extra layer of pressure on myself because I used to be a Leader, and was so afraid that someone might recognize me and wonder what the hell happened and where I went wrong.

When I feel the negative self-talk rise up and I know I am being hard on myself, sometimes I try to imagine that a close friend is sharing those same emotions with me, and I try to think through how I would respond to them. And usually, it’s quite different from what I say to myself (in my head mostly, luckily) and it helps me to change my tune.

I would say, “Don’t be ridiculous. Going back is a huge step in and of itself and it’s something you should be proud of, not scared of! Trust me, I know it sucks to have to face gaining weight back, but no one will be nearly as critical of you as you are. And honestly, even if someone does recognize you, what’s the worst that could happen? It would probably be refreshing more than anything because as anyone who has to lose/has lost a lot of weight genuinely understands, it’s not easy. Stop being so hard on yourself. I’ll be happy to go with you, if you like.”

I won’t share the self-directed commentary I had floating around before forcing myself to snap into gentle-mode, but suffice it to say that the version for my close friend was much kinder than the insults swirling around in my head.


As I mentioned in Monday’s post, I’ve been in a join, quit, rejoin, quit, rejoin cycle with Weight Watchers for the last year and a half plus. I went a few times throughout the year in 2015 where I saw the biggest gain from when I was Lifetime (about 35 pounds up from my goal weight), and then I went on April 26 and May 3 of this year (two weeks in a row!) and actually lost 3.8 pounds in that week, but that was followed by crickets… until yesterday.

When walking in, I honestly didn’t know what to expect with regards to what the scale would say. I haven’t been weighing myself regularly, and am not sure that I’ve been on a scale since May 3 to be honest. So, with baited breath I stood in line and soaked in the new-to-me SmartPoints merchandise while I waited for my turn at the scale. I saw a journal with a quote from the founder of Weight Watchers, and it helped reiterate that I was indeed making the right choice.

Choice Not Chance

My turn came, and as I walked over to step on the scale, I exhaled a bit when I realized that I had never laid eyes on the woman about to weigh me in my life, so she couldn’t possibly know who I was. She pulled up my profile and directed me to step on the scale, and then she goes, “Aww bummer. You’ve gained this time.”

Luckily, I had prepared myself for that, so I didn’t collapse on the spot. I did sheepishly remind her that I hadn’t weighed in since May 3 and had just recommitted the day before, and then I took back my booklet and sulked away from the scale.

But then, I opened up my booklet not sure what number would be there, and I had in fact gained weight, but it was only 1 pound since May 3! It could have been a LOT worse. I am pretty sure that’s the happiest I’ve been in my whole life from gaining a pound, so I’ll take it.

That Weight Thing

I’m currently in the Amazon Jungle, but wanted to write a post I’ve been meaning to write for a long time!

So, you may have noticed I haven’t mentioned or talked about my weight in a loooong time on here. Fortunately, that’s not because I’ve gone off the deep end and gained everything back.

My goal weight with Weight Watchers was 164, but I found that SO HARD to maintain at my height of 5’8 and I was only able to stay there for a few weeks. I met with my primary care doctor to talk to her about my weight, and she said I should try to maintain between 175-180 to be healthy for my height and with my build, so I reset my goal weight to 177 with Weight Watchers. I know that probably sounds like a lot to some people, but I am not looking to be skinny – I just want to be average and healthy, and not obese. I love food way too much to restrict myself in the way that I would have to to get down to my original goal weight or below.

I almost don’t want to put this in writing for fear of jinxing myself, but for the last several months, I haven’t been counting points and have just been eating intuitively. And you know what? I’ve actually been maintaining in the range my doctor suggested I go for. Though I’ve had to keep trying and being mindful of what I’m eating, I’ve found that my body finally isn’t fighting me anymore.

I’ve had my fair share of pizza, french fries, and chicken wings, but have been very aware of portion sizes and not overdoing it when I’m eating those heavier things. I’ve also focused on eating healthy staples most of the time – fruit, veggies, English muffins, cottage cheese, greek yogurt, eggs, and smoothies. For the first time in what feels like ever, I’ve actually been able to keep nut butter in my house and not have the jar disappear in a day or two. It’s been sort of eye opening trying and learning to trust myself with food again.

So, for a while now, I’d been thinking I should try to get back to 164 before the surgery to get as ideal of results as possible. But, I’ve been looking through a lot of forums and they say you should go into the surgery at your goal weight – and a lot of times its higher than you think it might be. They say you want to pick a weight you can maintain and go into surgery at that weight because then you will get ideal results for a weight you know you can maintain, and where you won’t have to fight against it.

I’ve decided that because of that, I want to focus on working out and getting strong going into the surgery, but NOT losing any more weight because I know where I am right now is something I can maintain for the long-haul. I feel like my body will be best contoured with ideal results at the place I am at now, and I really don’t want to spend the rest of my life trying to get my weight to an arbitrary number that clearly goes against where it wants to be.

Wednesday Weight Update

At long last!

So clearly I am very out of practice with the whole making a video blog thing. It took me more than 7 tries of stumbling over my words and saying extremely weird and random things in order to get it as right as it’s going to be. Here we go.

So in case you can’t watch the video because you’re at work – in it I do make a pretty big announcement about my weight. In the end of 2012, I had a full physical exam with my doctor and was talking with her about my weight and the history there. She asked me lots of questions, took a lot of measurements, and recommended that I set a higher goal weight than what Weight Watchers told me was the highest healthy weight for my height of 5’8.

The doc wrote me a note that I passed along to my Weight Watchers boss recommending that I maintain 175-180 as my goal weight. Weight Watchers says you can’t have a BMI higher than 27 as your goal weight, so we reset my weight goal to 177 pounds. I weighed in yesterday at 178.4, which was .4 down from not quite a week before. That means, I am within 2 pounds of my goal weight for the first time in… I can’t even remember how long! Granted, it is a completely different (and much higher) goal, but still.

I am feeling really great about the fact that I no longer have pressure from anyone except me to lose the weight. As I mentioned in my 2013 Intentions post, I really want to use this year to focus on getting to, and staying at, my happy weight. I think 164, my original goal weight, is just too low for me to reasonably maintain. That said, I would definitely like to lose a few more pounds and get to a place where my body, mind, and life just feel… good.

The big difference is that now I am going to keep doing this for ME. I am the reason I started this in the first place, and doing it for me is the only way I can truly stay committed to the long term habits I need to stay healthy. I plan to continue to weigh in weekly as I go through this new phase of my journey with weight, and want to keep doing video weigh ins as I plug along and find my happy place.

Thanks for all your support and for bearing with me through the ups and downs – I really value each and every one of you! Yes, YOU!

Wednesday Weight Check #10

Another Wednesday, another weigh in vlog…

Not the best result this week, but also not the end of the world.

Wow I look ecstatic…

This week I was up a little bit, but I honestly wouldn’t have been surprised if I was up by much more so I’ll take the small gain.

For the most part since recommitting 10 weeks ago, I’ve felt really in control with my eating. I’ve splurged many times throughout those weeks of course, but it never felt like it was spiraling out of control. This week though, it started right after weigh in and just wove itself throughout the week. I’ve felt like over the last many weeks theres been a day or two where I’m like, “Woah there Beth, reel it in” (I don’t talk to myself, I swear…) but it’s never been more than 1 or 2 days during a week.

I’m not really sure what caused it exactly, but this week I felt off track more than on track, and it just wasn’t a good feeling. I’d had a big dinner planned for Saturday night which I was looking forward to (and could have reasonably induldged on without gaining had I planned my week better, but I just had slip up after slip up leading into the dinner, and it just sucked. Especially because I knew this week would be even more challenging…

But, enough of that – today is a new day.

I’m actually leaving for San Francisco tonight and I am SOOOO excited. My goal for this week is to have fun, try to make good decisions about when to indulge, keep up with exercise, and enjoy myself! If I can maintain or keep my gain to less than a pound, I’ll be happy. If it’s more than that, I will deal. If I lose, something isn’t right. Winking smile

What’s your favorite place to visit in the states?

Mine is a tie between New Orleans and San Fran!

Wednesday Weight Check #8

Another Wednesday, another weigh in video. Good results this time!

This was taken fresh out of the shower last night, so forgive my lack of makeup. Smile

In the video, I mention that I also took measurements last night for the first time in 5 months, and I was down an inch almost everywhere on my body, including each arm plus my waist, bust, and chest, and 1.5 inches on each thigh! Exciting to see 8” gone over the course of 5 months, though of course I still have a ways to go.

This week, I really want to focus on getting more healthy fat into my diet. I am honestly not eating that much dietary fat day to day, so my goal is to have one serving of oil, avocado, and/or nuts (am I missing anything??) every day this week and prioritize getting it in.

I also have a 10k coming up this weekend so I want to perform well on that and I am just going to trust my training rather than set specific time goals, because that tends to work best for me!

Also, I was going to make another goal to change up my activity a little bit, specifically with cross training, and last I tried zumba for the first time ever! I absolutely LOVED it and got such a great workout. I was drenched!

zumba

Plus, I loooooved that the women in the class who were the best, plus the instructor, were all curvy ladies! I fit right in.

Do you do group exercise classes? Which is your favorite?

Wednesday Weight Check #7

Yesterday’s weigh in results were… not good.

But you know what? I’m not letting me get it down. A number is just a number and I am not going to let it dictate how I feel about myself.

Weigh In #7

While not thrilled with the results, I am honestly feeling so good right now. I ran 7 miles on Saturday at a sub 9:00 minute pace. Below 9 minutes! Me! So that is what I’m trying to focus on, rather than the number on the scale.

For the week ahead, here are my goals:

    • Keep up with planning splurges rather than having unplanned ones.
    • Focus on having a lot of protein at each meal.
    • Try to limit fruit to 3-4 servings/day (it’s getting a little out of hand, especially when I ear most of my activity and all of my weekly points).
    • Track everything.
    • Focus on living healthy, not getting too caught up in the scale.
    • Adjust to working at home! This week I start working from home two days a week, which is going to be challenging/different for me.

Here’s to a great week!

Wednesday Weight Check #4

Hi guys! I hope everyone enjoyed yesterday’s post from Matt. If you didn’t have a chance to read it, I suggest you take a minute to do so because it’s pretty powerful stuff. I’m looking for more submissions for the In Her/His Words series, so if you’d like to share your story, please email me at bethsjourneyblog at gmail dot com.

Without further ado, here’s my weigh in video with yesterday’s results.

I wish I had more of a say in the still shot shown above…

I am pleased with the movement on the scale, though of course I wish it was more. These are THE HARDEST pounds I’ve ever lost – and trust me, I’ve lost (and gained) many, many pounds in my lifetime. It’s frustrating, but I know the only thing I can do is keep on trucking.

One thing that is really good is that I feel completely in control. I haven’t had any out of control eating in weeks and it’s not even something that is tempting me, which I think is a good sign that I am feeding my body what it needs, honoring my cravings, and making smart decisions about fueling.

My goals for the next week are:

    • Eat less processed foods (minus the Salted Caramel Smoothies I bought yesterday…)
    • Eat more protein (switching out pop/baked chips for cottage cheese at lunch, eating a bigger serving of Greek yogurt at breakfast, etc)
    • Keep on going with mindful eating and being active

If I do all these things, I hope to be reunited with the 170s at this time next week!

Tell me… what are you most proud of from this past week?

Wednesday Weigh In Results

I finally had a breakthrough on the scale this week and it feels sooooo good! I think a big part of it was that this past weekend was the one I didn’t travel for during the whole month of May, and being at home really helps me be better about staying on track. Even though I was home, I did go out for dinner/drinks on Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday night, one of which included pizza and bruschetta! This is why I love Weight Watchers – I can still eat things that I love like pizza (and vodka and wine) and lose weight!

badhandwriting

Source.

Since I knew I had a few plans that would involve dinner and drinks, I wanted to make sure I didn’t go too too crazy any of those nights eating-wise and really focus on having healthy, balanced meals at home/at work when I was preparing my own. On top of that, I resisted a bunch of office treats and sweets that always seem to present themselves, because I was thinking about the three outings I had planned and those were more important to me.

Outside of food, I remained pretty active and got in three solid workouts. Here’s what my activity schedule looked like:

    • Sunday: Rest
    • Monday: New Rules of Lifting for Women Stage 1, Workout B, plus 3 mile treadmill run
    • Tuesday: Rest
    • Wednesday: 3 mile outdoor run – 9:14 pace
    • Thursday: Rest
    • Friday: Rest
    • Saturday: 7.2 mile walk/run

It should be noted that on days that I consider rest days, I usually try to walk both ways to work, which is 2.6 miles total, or about 45 minutes. I think I had to say that mostly to make myself feel better because there’s more rest on there than workouts, but its true!

Anyways, I had a feeling I’d have a good result when I got on the scale, but I was thrilled when it said I was down 2.2 pounds! I can’t even tell you the last time that I lost that much in one week, and it feels especially good because I kept on living and enjoying myself while being mindful of what I was getting into.

This means, since recommitting on April 24, I’m down 4.2 pounds total. This has included plenty of travel, a staff retreat for work, lots of meals/nights out, and some more exciting life changes that I’ll reveal soon – so I’ll definitely take 4.2 pounds in not quite a month! This means I have “just” 12.6 pounds to go until I’m back where I need to be! I can do this!!

Scale Surprise

These past couple weeks have been super super busy, which has made it really hard to stay on track. The weekend before last, I was in Philly from Saturday to Sunday to run the Broad Street Run with my sister, and then I went directly from her house to a staff retreat for my day job on Sunday night. I was at the staff retreat through Tuesday, and then back in the office Wednesday and Thursday. Friday, I took a vacation day from work and drove up to Woodstock, NY to see my family for Mother’s Day Weekend, and didn’t get back until after 10pm on Sunday night. Whew!

The staff retreat proved the hardest part of the past couple weeks for eating. We had it in an old farm house, and it was fully stocked with sour watermelons, M&Ms galore, chips, dorritos, skittles, party mix, cheesy poofs, sunchips, chocolate, pretzels… you name it. And that was just for snacks!

junk

In addition, we had the meals catered and since we were in a pretty remote area, they were made by two sisters who cooked comfort food out of their home. Most of the food was heavy – think mac and cheese, spinach lasagna, cheesy pasta, pulled chicken, coleslaw, etc. I don’t do well having all that tempting food around me constantly, so I overdid it pretty badly with the snacks and the meals alike. I also won a crab eating contest and picked and ate 17 crabs on Monday night, so that didn’t help much either. Winking smile

The weekend at my sister’s house in Woodstock was a lot better health wise, because now all five members of my immediate family are following Weight Watchers, even my dad! This is HUGE and something I never thought I would see. He is the one who initially inspired me to try Atkins because he had such success on the program without having to use moderation, so for him to adopt a program based around moderation has been so awesome. He and my mom have lost over 8lbs each in just a few weeks on the program!! I am so happy for them.

Anyway, since everyone was trying to be on track, the meals were pretty healthy throughout the weekend, though the wine and booze were flowing from dinner on both nights. Each of my sisters took on two meals, while I was in charge of Mother’s Day brunch since I’m the only female non-mother.  Though, my 4 (and a half!!) year old niece Claire did ask me, “Auntie Beth, Do you hope to one day be a mother?” Oh, kids.

The biggest saving grace during the past two weeks of busyness has been that I have been REALLY consistent with working out, and for that, I’m proud! I got in four solid workouts both weeks despite traveling quite a bit, and you can see what I’ve been up to workout wise here, but I’ve basically been running a couple times a week, doing strength training, and using the stairmill for cross training. I even got an 8 mile run in with my sister on Saturday in Woodstock!

I already tried to take control of the meals that I could. When I was home/not traveling, I stuck fully to my PointsPlus for the day and prepared healthy meals for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Even while gone, I tried my best to start the day with a healthy breakfast, and then made sure to get in a lots of fruit and veggies throughout the day. I also tried to keep hydrated and drank a good amount of water throughout those two weeks. In short, I did the best I could.

So, I honestly wasn’t sure WHAT to expect when I stepped up on the scale yesterday. When I did, and found out I was down 1 pound from two weeks ago, I was actually really pleased!

The last time I weighed in and lost a pound in one week, I was a little disappointed because I had tracked EVERYTHING I’d eaten and didn’t have that many obstacles that week to get in the way of losing weight. This time, I had a lot of things going on and didn’t track completely the whole time, so I am really proud of that pound.

That means, two pounds down in 3 weeks back on the program and I am feeling good!

Wednesday Weigh In

Last week for the first time in I can’t even tell you how long, I tracked EVERY SINGLE BITE that passed through my lips. Even when I first started Weight Watchers in March 2009 (for the second to last time), I would allow myself one “cheat day” where I wouldn’t track and would just consider all my extra points gone but wouldn’t actually track it to see how bad the damage was.

So how much did I have? I ended up eating all of my daily points each day, plus 56 extra points, which included all 49 Weekly Points and then some of the Activity Points I earned. Tracking can be so eye opening because there were times when I felt like I really wasn’t eating that bad, but I was using way over my daily points. They go so quick! But, that’s what the weeklies are there for – to make the plan livable.

Activity wise, I got in 4 solid workouts, earning a total of 34 Activity Points:

    • Wednesday: 45 minute walk
    • Thursday: 30 min intervals on the stairmill + free weights
    • Saturday: Run for Shelter 10k
    • Sunday: Biking outside, 20 mins intervals on stairmill, NRLFW Stage 1, Workout A

Though I’ve been doing more strength training lately than I have in the past, it’s been incredibly random moves and routines. It’s been moves that I’ve learned through Jillian Michaels, things I know that are good for me like pushups and lunges, and also random ab work. I have really been wanting a bit more structure so that I know I am getting a solid, full body strength training routine in, so I decided to purchase the New Rules of Lifting for Women, which I’ve heard awesome things about. I just did the first workout on Sunday and am planning to do the second one tonight and will do a dedicated post soon. I did actually take measurements on Saturday for the first time ever, so I am excited to hopefully see and share some results with you, too!

So how’d I do on the scale?

Down 1.0 pounds!

While I am happy that the scale is down, I was hoping for a bit more since I made an effort to be really good and tracked all week for the first time ever. I know 1 lb is a solid weight loss and would tell a member he/she was silly for not being proud of that result, but when the tables are turned it’s hard not to wish for more. That said, I really am happy to be moving in the right direction and it feels awesome to be back in control!

One More Thing

I am excited to report that yesterday’s morning meeting was probably the best one yet. I feel like I am finally really starting to hit my stride as a Leader and am LOVING leading the meetings. I feel so comfortable in front of the group and really look to the members to teach me! I learn and hear new things at every single meeting, and as of yesterday, my meeting officially doubled in size from when I took it over!! I am so excited!