This is really hard for me to admit, but I had a huge slip up today on the healthy eating front. As I mentioned in my last post, I came to Minneapolis today for work and will be here for 3 nights. I waited too long to book my flight for a number of reasons, and ended up on a really crappy flight with TWO layovers. The first flight left DCA at 6am and went into Chicago, the second flight from Chicago to Milwaukee (15 minute flight!) and the third flight was from Milwaukee to Minneapolis. The third leg of the flight ended up being delayed about an hour, but I finally made it and am here at the hotel.
I always thought that when I lost the weight, I would finally “get it” and the healthy lifestyle would just click and I wouldn’t have to try so hard. When I started Weight Watchers, and they explained it was a lifestyle change and not a diet, I accepted that the changes I was making would be for life and because I was loving the results, I was OK with it. Now, I go back and forth between accepting that counting points and trying is something I’ll have to do for the rest of my life, and resenting it, depending on the day.
I remember when I walked into the first Weight Watchers meeting in March 2009 (not my first one, but the first meeting since I really changed my life) and seeing this girl who I didn’t think belonged. I remember thinking to myself “What is she doing here?” and then overheard her say to someone else that she had hit goal weight that day. Someone asked her how long it had taken her and she said “A long time… 2 years. 44 pounds.” As much of a jerk as this makes me, I was like “2 years!? No way will it take me that long!” and sort of felt a sense of pride as to how quickly I knew the weight would come off me. Now, 1.5 years later and still not at my goal, I wish I could take that sentiment back even though I didn’t say anything out loud. Everyone goes through their own journey at their own pace and has their own life to get in the way during the trip.
Now where was I going with all this? Sometimes, I just say “Screw it” in my head, and stop caring. I eat bad stuff and too much of it, and trick myself into thinking its OK and that I don’t really give a shit about it. That happened this morning. I was cranky from having to wake up at 4:30am, my cab was late getting to my apartment, and just the fact that I had to take 3 flights to get to one place. I started off with good intentions at DCA and got steel cut oats from Potbelly’s with a little bit of brown sugar and raisins. I also got a huge bottle of water, and then slept for the two hours on the plane to Chicago. I was hungry when I woke up so I decided to get something else to eat but wasn’t sure what I wanted… I went to McDonald’s and to a few other places and circled around a few times and then finally got an everything bagel with egg, no cheese, and ate the whole thing so fast. Not that a bagel with egg is bad, but it was breakfast #2 and I wasn’t really that hungry. Then, at the Milwaukee airport, my flight got delayed and I was really frustrated so I went to get a snack even though I was NOT hungry (only a 15 minute flight from Chicago to Milwaukee). I ended up getting a bag of Jalapeno Cheddar chex mix, also not THAT bad, but was planning on only having 1 serving or half the bag (just under 2 servings) and putting the rest away. Before I knew it, I had eaten the entire bag. Then, I slept on the plane from Milwaukee to Minneapolis and decided to get a coffee when I landed. I passed by a Starbucks and ordered a Venti Skinny Caramel Latte, and then the guy asked me if I wanted something to eat and I picked up dark chocolate graham crackers and ate them so quickly that they were gone before my drink was even finished being made.
So, I know that might not seem that bad, but it was just out of control eating and unnecessary. I really want to get to my goal weight soon since I’ve been doing this for so long, and I recommitted myself to being good and counting points, and then I go off and do this. The bag of Chex Mix alone was 420 calories, the latte 160 calories, the 300 calories in the chocolate covered grahams, 230 calories in the oats, and then probably 350 for the bagel with egg. So that totals 1460 calories, or as much as I should have in a whole day. My stomach hurt after eating all that and I wasn’t even satisfied.
It’s hard to admit how much I still struggle sometimes. Some days are easy and I don’t even have to try that hard to make decisions, but some days are like today. Rather than letting the spiral continue downward, I got my act together as soon as I made it to the hotel. They put me in a room originally that smelled a little weird when I walked in, and then I saw this paper on the bed that said that my back door lead to the “Backyard” which is an outdoor pool/bar and that it could get loud at night, so to request if I wanted a room change. I have to wake up super early for the course, so loud nights aren’t really an option. I asked the front desk to move me to a room near the gym if possible, so I’d have no excuse not to go. They ended up putting me in the room right next to the gym, and this room smells a lot better, is a lot bigger, and has a fridge and a microwave.
I went to the gym almost immediately and got a great workout in:
- 12 minute warm up on the bike
- 30 minutes walking on an incline on the treadmill, first at 4.0 mph and a level 12 incline for 15 minutes, then 4.2 mph at a level 15 incline for the second half
- 100 jumping jacks
- Ran 1 mile at 6.5 mph (9:13 pace)
The bike told me I burned 97 calories, and the treadmill 470 during the walk (it was intense!) and then 170 during the run. I know those numbers are super inflated, but it felt good to see big numbers in any case.
Tonight, I have to check in to the room where my course will be tomorrow around 6 tonight and make sure everything is good to go for tomorrow, and then I’m planning on going to the Mall of America to get dinner and possibly do a little low key shopping. I’ve never been to the Mall of America before and i’ve heard there are 2 full sized roller coasters inside! I’m not much of a rollercoaster person (besides on my weight loss journey.. ;)) but I’m just excited to see them!
Do you struggle with being healthy, or is it just natural for you? How do you bounce back?